Be the devil, or become her victim...

Sometimes, life forces you to accept a world that exists even though it ought not to. Sometimes, life forces one to accept the existence of certain characters even if they ought not to. And, when I view her struggles, I am forced to accede to these theories.

In today’s Indian society(not limited to the geographic India), women are growing increasingly independent. An event a sizable section of the society finds it hard to digest, leave alone accept. I salute the mental strength of women. At its peaks, no one can challenge the resolve of a woman. And the women have begun to rise against the taunts and torments of the “righteous” society.

So, what happens when you suppress anything beyond the threshold? It explodes! Be it a cylinder, a volcano or a society.

I believe this is true in the case of today’s women too. Along with their growing independence and confidence; adamancy and a domineering trait have also crept in. This is not her fault nor is it always a bad thing. Bad or good is contextual. And, these qualities may well need to be slightly larger in proportion to effectively combat the regressive attitude of an unfortunately larger society. However, a systemic change is needed.

In an ideal world, men and women will be allowed experiment with their lives to know what they are capable of. Learning is through realization and that realization can’t be enforced; it has to be organic.

And, when I see her willingness to sacrifice for the family being exploited, I can see she has become the victim. For instance, she sacrifices her career to look after the family. But when she is made to sacrifice even when she can maintain a work-life balance, she is the victim. When she is told her priority must be to stay indoors and appease the family, she is the victim. And, when she suffers differential treatment because she was not born in that family, she is the victim again. 

(Going into the reasons why women have been treated in this manner is an extensive topic and I will not be able to do justice with a few lines of mention in this write. So, I will stick to the extreme cases as mentioned above which continue to happen in large numbers)

And so, when I see today’s women demand in-laws to adjust and heed to their lifestyles, I understand the legitimacy in their voice. But when they impose marital conditions that in-laws are welcome only as guests, I see a touch of the devil. While this attitude may have risen from injustice meted out by in-laws of previous generations; doing so today might as well shut the door to the change needed in today’s society, the change they have been fighting for. As a result, prospective in-laws and today’s women may often find themselves in the opposite corners of a court and neither ready to find a middle ground. 

Unfortunately, until this is resolved, she may have to be the devil or become her victim.