Sometimes, life forces
you to accept a world that exists even though it ought not to. Sometimes,
life forces one to accept the existence of certain characters even if they
ought not to. And, when I view her struggles, I am forced to accede to
these theories.
In today’s Indian society(not limited to the geographic India), women
are growing increasingly independent. An event a sizable section of the society finds it hard to digest, leave alone accept. I salute the
mental strength of women. At its peaks, no one can challenge the resolve of a
woman. And the women have begun to rise against the taunts
and torments of the “righteous” society.
So, what happens when
you suppress anything beyond the threshold? It explodes! Be it a cylinder, a
volcano or a society.
I believe this is true
in the case of today’s women too. Along with their growing independence and
confidence; adamancy and a domineering trait have also crept in. This is not her fault nor
is it always a bad thing. Bad or good is contextual. And, these qualities may
well need to be slightly larger in proportion to effectively combat the
regressive attitude of an unfortunately larger society. However, a systemic
change is needed.
In an ideal world, men
and women will be allowed experiment with their lives to know what they are capable of.
Learning is through realization and that realization can’t be enforced; it has
to be organic.
And, when I see her willingness to sacrifice for the family being exploited, I can see she has
become the victim. For instance, she sacrifices her career to look after the family. But when she is made to sacrifice even when she can maintain a work-life balance, she is the victim. When she is told her priority must be to stay indoors and appease the family, she is the victim. And, when she suffers differential treatment because she was not born in that family, she is the victim again.
(Going into the reasons why women have been treated in this manner is an extensive topic and I will not be able to do justice with a few lines of mention in this write. So, I will stick to the extreme cases as mentioned above which continue to happen in large numbers)
And so, when I see today’s women demand in-laws to adjust and heed to their lifestyles, I understand the legitimacy in their voice.
But when they impose marital conditions that in-laws are welcome only as
guests, I see a touch of the devil. While this attitude may have risen from injustice
meted out by in-laws of previous generations; doing so today might as well shut
the door to the change needed in today’s society, the change they have been
fighting for. As a result, prospective in-laws and today’s women may often find
themselves in the opposite corners of a court and neither ready to find a
middle ground.
Unfortunately, until this is resolved, she may have to be the devil or
become her victim.